Learning From Real Heroes

What is a hero?

By Robert Ringer

Americans love to throw around the term "hero," but what is a hero? We tend not only ascribe the word to illiterate athletes, but to people who happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, as well.

An extreme example of the latter would be the infamous Iran-hostage "crisis" that ended after 444 days on January 20, 1981. With Kim Jong Il's best friend, Jimmy Carter, spending more than a year trying to remove his thumb from his left nostril, Iran's version of Crazy Guggenheim — Ayatollah Khomeini — had things pretty much his way.

But once Ronald Reagan was elected president, Kraze Khomeini started envisioning a nuclear cloud over Iran for the next 400 years. Which in turn motivated him to come to his senses and release the hostages. Like every other civilized person, I was happy for both the hostages and their families.

Nevertheless, when the media started portraying them as heroes and New York held a ticker-tape parade for them, I was baffled. You happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, and you're hailed as a hero? I think a little perspective is called for. What is a hero? To me, a hero is someone who accomplishes extraordinary feats under extraordinarily difficult circumstances, such as the firefighters who marched into the World Trade Center towers in an attempt to save lives while everyone else was scurrying to get out.

In this regard, I have great admiration and respect for Jessica Lynch, the American soldier who was captured and held prisoner in Iraq, and was subsequently rescued in a daring raid by U.S. troops. My admiration and respect are a result of her making it clear to a national television audience that she, in fact, is not a hero.

Though The New York Times and other major publications depicted Lynch as a hero who fiercely fought the enemy in Iraq until she was finally subdued and captured, she explained, in an interview with Diane Sawyer, that there was no truth to any of those stories.

In fact, Lynch said that not only did she not do any fighting, she was hurt so badly that she didn't even remember what happened to her. When Diane Sawyer asked Lynch why she would volunteer such information when all those who would have been in a position to know what really happened to her had been killed in battle, she explained that she could never live with herself if she allowed people to believe that she fought heroically when, in fact, she did not.

So, even though Lynch is not a hero, her refreshing honesty and humility command enormous respect, especially in this day and age of declining Western values, a day and age in which honesty and humility have become scarce commodities.

The reason my mind hearkened back to the Iran hostage situation is because America recently lost two genuine heroes — thirteen-year-old Mattie Stepanek, who succumbed to a severe case of muscular dystrophy, and Christopher Reeve, who passed away as a result of complications from an infection caused by a bedsore.

At the age of ten, Stepanek wrote Heartsongs, a poetry book that became a New York Times #1 bestseller. He followed that remarkable feat with four more poetry books, two of which also became New York Times bestsellers. Mattie was a frequent guest on The Oprah Winfrey Show, Good Morning America, and Larry King Live. His messages were always upbeat, positive, and inspiring. Few adults have ever spoken with more wisdom and deep insight into life than Mattie.

Reeve, who became a quadriplegic after a May 1995 horse-riding accident, was beyond amazing. While his difficulty in breathing was enough to make a strong person grimace when watching him on television, Reeve found the time, energy, and determination not only to continue acting, but also to direct a film, take an active role in fighting for stem-cell research, testify before Congress, and appear on virtually every major television talk show.

Other than recognizing them as true heroes, what else can we learn from the lives of these two giants of courage?

Heroes come in all shapes and sizes.

It seems somewhat ironic that the joint subjects of this article are a scrawny thirteen-year-old kid and Superman. After a lifetime of observation, it's become clear to me that size, physical strength, skin color, gender, and ethnicity, among other things, are of little significance compared to a will to succeed.

It's wise to ignore vote-hungry politicians, self-anointed crusade leaders, and other social charlatans who encourage the deployment of victimization excuses. Racism, "glass ceilings," and a prejudice against such factors as age and physical disabilities are not so much anachronistic as irrelevant.

If people want to be racist in their attitudes, that's their business. You owe it to yourself to focus on doing what you have to do to succeed. If an employer wants to shortchange himself by limiting the advancement of females, that's his business.

Never lower yourself to fight for the right to be where you aren't welcome. Instead, gravitate toward people and companies who focus on results. Think as an individualist, and don't allow yourself to be swept up in the hysteria of group complaints. It is your mind-set and your willingness to take action that will determine your success.

Though human beings, through the gift of free will coupled with action, are able to exercise a great deal of control over their destinies, the inevitable will always be one of man's greatest nemeses.

The National Safety Council says that a fatal accident occurs every five minutes in the United States, and a disabling injury occurs every two seconds. There is no question that we have the capacity to stack the odds in our favor when it comes to leading longer, healthier lives. Yet, in a head-to-head battle, we are no match for the inevitable. This, however, does not mean that a person should become a fatalist and stop trying. That would be irrational on its face.

What it does mean is that you should always keep in mind that there's an offsetting positive to every negative, and the offsetting positive to the inevitable is that it teaches the wise person humility. Do everything possible to stack the odds in your favor, work hard at success in all areas of your life, but make certain you don't become so enamored with yourself that you start believing you're omnipotent, immortal, or both.

Remember, you're always just one bad break away from becoming a quadriplegic, incurring a terminal disease, or suffering a fatal accident.

Relativity.

It may sound trite, but you really should be grateful when you wake up every morning, especially if you have been blessed with good health.

Given that a handicap is defined as anything that makes achievement more difficult, each of us is burdened with many handicaps. Not necessarily physical handicaps, but handicaps just the same. Broken marriages, financial problems, lack of a track record — the list of factors that can make achievement more difficult is infinite.

Brooding over a handicap, whatever it may be, is a surefire way to increase its negative impact on your life. You brood, you lose. Whenever you feel as though the temptation to feel sorry for yourself is taking control of your emotions, refocus your thoughts on genuine heroes like Mattie Stepanek and Christopher Reeve.

When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. Heroes are great teachers. They lead by example. All that is required is that you be ready to learn.

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