A Wrong Turn in the Road, Part I

By Robert Ringer

I believe in free will and in man's capacity to rise above adversity. I believe in accountability. I believe in the basic virtues upon which Western civilization has been built.

But I also believe that people sometimes take a wrong turn in the road - perhaps inadvertently or maybe as a result of an ill-advised impulse - then discover that they can't find their way back. There can be many causes for making that wrong turn - teenage pregnancy, the loss of a loved one, disappointment over not landing an anticipated promotion, lack of social acceptance, or failure in an area such as sports, academics, or family.

Whatever the cause may be, we know that some people give up on life and turn to alcohol and drugs, become bitter recluses, or even resort to suicide. Then there are others who, after experiencing everything from a poverty-stricken background to racism … to the loss of an entire family … to financial catastrophe, fight back and succeed against all odds.

What we don't know is why one person is motivated to take a turn in the road that leads to a happy, fulfilling life, while another chooses a turn that leads to self-destruction and misery. Is it genetics over which we have no control? Is it inevitability dictated by a Universal Power Source ("God," "Allah," "Supreme Being," etc.) or a random universe?

The truth of the matter is that we simply don't know. Years ago at a seminar in Sydney, Australia, Jim Rohn, in talking about how easy it is to become irritated by individuals who are nasty to you, suggested that you have to learn to "meet people in the hurt." Everyone who has children can relate to this, because kids experience so much pain growing up. What they have to go through as adolescents and teenagers borders on cruel and unusual punishment.

The good news is that most of them survive and go on to lead normal lives. The bad news is that millions of them never find their way back to the main road and end up on drugs, alcohol, or both. They end up in abusive marriages. They end up homeless. And, yes, many end up dead at an early age.

Whenever I cross paths with a street beggar, I find myself wondering what happened in this person's life that brought him to such a wretched state? What was the wrong turn he took, why did he take it, and when? I began giving money to street beggars at a relatively young age. I especially made it a point to give to them when I was struggling in my own life, because I would think to myself (and still do), "There but for the grace of God go I."

People have often chastised me for giving money to "human blight" who appear unwilling to try to help themselves. But I am motivated to do so by the lingering question: "What is it that happened in this person's life that brought him to the point where he has lost the sinew to fight for his existence?"

It's easy to say that a person should stand up and do whatever it takes to overcome his plight. But that begs the question, Why doesn't he do it? Is it a genetic issue? Is it willed by a Higher Being for reasons we do not understand? If he's "lazy," why is he lazy? Is there not something mentally wrong (by "normal" standards) with both a schizophrenic and a person who cannot muster the energy to fight for his life? If a person's brain does not work in such a way that he is determined to rise above his dismal circumstances, is he not just as "crazy" as a schizophrenic?

Let me make it clear that I'm not on a crusade to help the poor. On the contrary, I am a staunch believer that people who rail on endlessly about the injustice of the growing gap between the rich and poor almost always do more harm than good. As Nobel Prize novelist and poet Anatole France so rightly pointed out, "Those who have given themselves the most concern about the happiness of peoples have made their neighbors very miserable."

In Part II of this article, we'll take a look at the other side of society - the high end - and see if its members are any better at coping with the traumas of life.

Next - A Wrong Turn in the Road, Part II

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